Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Suck it, blogspot

Suck it, blogspot: "Between your 'rating' system, being slow (or even non-moving) to shut down spammers, and being useless for using as a gallery, I'm fed up and moving to greener pastures. Namely, Yuku.
I'll be copying over what is practical. Some stuff will no doubt get lost in the shuffle."

Yuku

Since I'm a board moderator there, I thought I'd mention that The Darkzone has moved to Yuku. I'm seriously considering making the switch myself.

The Worm, the MUD, and the Art

As you may have noticed, I now have a lower word count goal, along with a higher current word count. I'm aiming for novella length. I've been pitched to Renaissance E Books (the domain name is in transit), thanks to my good friend Janrae Frank.
I suddenly have a lot going now. I've been playing around with 3D rendering software for years, and have been drawing for even longer. Well, maybe I'm jumping ahead a bit.
Janrae and I were talking, and she expressed a desire to run a MUD. One thing led to another, and I ended up being the Implementor for Dark Brothers of the Light. That lovely lady is Anksha, one of the dramatis persona from Janrae's long running series. The artist? That would be me. And that image got me making ebook covers for the above mentioned Renaissance E Books. I've sold one so far, and now I'm trying to find a place for a proper online portfolio.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Kent Hughes

I keep getting these calls to call Kent Hughes at 888 249 1037. Thing is, I know who Kent Hughes is - the word for this sort of individual is "scammer". He claims to be a collection agency for old debts. Debts which never existed. Then if you're dumb enough to pay, he uses your signature and SSN to steal your identity.

Verizon Class Action Settlement

Verizon Class Action Settlement: "A proposed settlement has been reached in two class action proceedings alleging
that, beginning in October 2004, Verizon blocked legitimate incoming emails to
certain Verizon.net subscribers."

Of course, this is only for people who had legit email from Europe or Asia blocked to get cash. The rest of us get Verizon's Internet Security Suite. Yeah, like I want a security suite provided by someone who shuts off two continents from email.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

I won the Canadian lottery! (or did I?)

This came in the mail.







You may notice it is addressed to Al. Al is not a real person, but telemarketers don't know the difference between a pair of initials and a name. Neither do scammers.
Note the postmark, eh? www.canadapost.ca Yeah, it would have been really suspicious if they had mailed it from New Jersey, it being the Canadian lottery and all. Of course, you have to wonder how much gas they burned driving up there with a couple pounds of envelopes. They had to have gone at least as far as, well, the canuck side of Niagra.
But why did I say New Jersey? Did I pick that state out of a hat? No, I pulled it out of the envelope.







Yeah, too bad Al isn't a real person. But if he was, he'd be a sucker to try cashing this. But I'll get to that later. And weird how the Canadian lottery draws on a bank in New Jersey, huh.












There really is an Ontario Lottery and Gaming Commission but the only way to win that is to enter, not be randomly chosen out of non-existant list of credit card holders. ("Yeah, Visa? Gimme your list of customers. Excuse me? Do what to myself?") NO lottery works that way. Poor Al. Someone stole his credit card. Oh, yeah - he's not real. They must have pulled the name out of the phone book.
Note the request for secrecy. Yeah, because if someone blabs, the jig is up. Poor, poor Al. Now he'll never get his money from a lottery he never entered. But at least that $2625 is a consolation, right? Or is it the whole scam?













Ah, it's a partial award, to cover the "cost" of claiming the prize. The cost of claiming a $75,000 cash prize happens to be the same amount of the check. Funny how that worked out, eh? Note the admonishment to go to your bank and not the post office. Yeah, because after the clerks at the post office stop laughing at you for being a sucker, they'll either tell you to contact the AG's office (Who only care if you were successfully scammed. And then they'll put you on hold so they can have a good laugh.) or take it as evidence in their ongoing "investigation". (Which consists of passing around the latest scam letters and laughing their asses off.)
Do note that they keep calling the check an international money order. But it's a check. There will be a quiz at the end, so don't forget this detail.
So, how does the scam work? Well, if you follow the instructions, you've sent off a payment to them. To cover the "costs". But that's okay, because they sent you a partial award to cover it, right? You'll be sending them a money order. A real money order. Covered by that check you got, though, so it should be okay, right?
Once they get the money order, your bank calls to tell you that the check you had deposited was no good and could you kindly return the money, plus fees, thank you.
Poor Al. At least he doesn't have a bank account, and can't get ripped off by these scammers.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

G.L.O.W. Diary - The whole story

Here it is again, relinked for your reading pleasure. Just use the back button to come back and follow the next link. Or open in new tabs if you're using a browser that's worth a damn.

G.L.O.W. Diary 0
G.L.O.W. Diary 1
G.L.O.W. Diary 2
G.L.O.W. Diary 3
G.L.O.W. Diary 4
G.L.O.W. Diary 5
G.L.O.W. Diary 6
G.L.O.W. Diary 7
G.L.O.W. Diary 8
G.L.O.W. Diary 9
G.L.O.W. Diary 10
G.L.O.W. Diary 11
G.L.O.W. Diary 12
G.L.O.W. Diary 13
G.L.O.W. Diary 14
G.L.O.W. Diary 15
G.L.O.W. Diary 16
G.L.O.W. Diary 17
G.L.O.W. Diary 18
G.L.O.W. Diary 19
G.L.O.W. Diary 20
G.L.O.W. Diary 21

Comments, questions, and suggestions are always welcome. Answers aren't guaranteed. And yes, that ending is the one I had planned. It just came a few posts early.

G.L.O.W. Diary 21

Tuesday, Week 4, May 1983

I had several surprises when I came in the next morning. First was that none of the girls were there. One or two late, sure. Instead, I was greeted by McLane, gloating like a mouse who had stolen the cheese. This was the second surprise.

"Hello again, Mr. Wideman. I said you hadn't seen the last of me."

"How did you get past security?"

"They work for me now, Mr. Wideman."

I knew what he was saying, but didn't want to accept it. "What are you talking about, McLane?"

"My business partner didn't tell you? She should have. I owned slightly less than half of the company, just as she does."

"You said 'owned'."

"That's right. You know who owned the rest? Go on, take a guess."

I was at a loss. I shrugged.

"You've forgotten our old friends in Nevada already? Yes, I see by the look on your face that you have."

"Damn it, McLane, quit screwing around! You've won. Whatever prick waving contest you thought you were in, you've won!"

His expression turned to anger. He was having fun, and I just spoiled it. "The Hotel Riviera! It was just 2%, but they agreed to turn it over to me for just a small amount of the original investment."

So that explained the sabotage. "You wanted the company to lose money so you could take it over!"

"Exactly! Now I can do the show the way I wanted to in the first place. Women's wrestling is a joke, Mr. Wideman. It's nothing more than an excuse for scantily clad bimboes rolling on top of each other for the amusement of immature men who'd pay top dollar for the priviledge of watching it!
"Those she-males you hired aren't going to impress anybody and the strippers you fired will come crawling back on their hands and knees when I offer them money."

I smiled. Some people are so unreliable, you can count on them being late. While he was going on his little mysoginist rant, Kelly had come in. Her timing was perfect.

"You son of a bitch!"

I was out of a job, but there were a lot of good memories. The look on his face at that moment was one of them.

*

Kelly had contacted the rest of the girls - including the so-called strippers - and told them what she witnessed. By the time she was done, not even hookers would work for McLane.
He eventually relocated to Hawaii, where he got work as an announcer. As for me, I had a book to write.

G.L.O.W. Diary Hiatus

The best laid plans of mice, you know. My save game seems to have gotten corrupted in a crash, so unless there's a fix, this will end prematurely. Not that it would have lasted forever, but I wanted to get to the end of the season, which is two months - 8 more posts - away.
Correction: One month. 4 posts.
The save game is a lost cause, so there's just one more post.

G.L.O.W. Diary 20

Monday, Week 4, May 1983

We put 227 asses in seats at the Hollywood-Los-Feliz JCC. Yeah, baby!

Highlights of the recent event between Debbie Dancer and Sally the Farmer's Daughter are played in a video package.[D]
California Doll defeated Vine in 3:20 by pinfall with a Small Package.[C-]
Chainsaw is in the ring when Susie, who calls herself Six-Shooter Susie now, comes out. She says that she accepts the challenge, and will face her in the arm wrestling contest.
Chainsaw is developing better performance skills.[C-]
The Patriots drew with The Anti-Americans in 7:26 following a double disqualification.
Corporal Kelly could use something to freshen her character up. Desiree is improving in Technical skills. Caporal Carrie is improving in Performance skills.[D]
The announcers put over the fact that we'll be seeing Mountain Fiji take on Spike next week.[C-]
Wendi Richter defeated Bambi in 2:45 by pinfall with a Sunset Flip.
Bambi is improving in Performance skills.[E]
That last match killed what otherwise was a good show.[E]

G.L.O.W. Diary 19

Monday, Week 3, May 1983

At the Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC, we had 210 people in attendance.

The announcers put over the fact that their will be a tournament for the vacant tag team title starting next week, when we will see The Patriots vs. The Anti-Americans.[F]
Sally the Farmer's Daughter attacks Debbie Dancer backstage, and leaves her down and out.[D]
Vine defeated California Doll in 2:48 by pinfall while using the ropes for leverage.[C-]
Susie Spirit is working out backstage. Chainsaw comes along and challenges her to an arm wrestling contest.
Susie Spirit could use something to freshen her character up.[B-]
Tracy Richards defeated Little Feather in 2:50 by pinfall with a Reverse Bodyslam.[F]
Don Coss is interviewing his client, Beastie. He asks "You've been working at a soup kitchen, handing out toys at an orphanage, and sponsoring children in poor countries. Why?"
"I am trying to make up for all the bad things I've done." she replies.
Beastie is developing better performance skills.[D]
Maddie Menace defeated Victoria in 2:55 by pinfall while using the ropes for leverage.[E]
The show would have been much better if I had put the right girls together in matches.[D]

*

Tuesday, Week 3, May 1983

I told Susie to pick up a pair of cap guns and a cowboy hat for her new gimmick. If I hadn't just started her in a storyline, I could have given her something less silly. Lesson learned.

G.L.O.W. Diary 18

Monday, Week 2, May 1983

We had 234 people in the audience at the Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC.

Jackie Stallone announces that the Tag Team title is now vacant due to the injury of one of the holders.
Jackie Stallone could use something to freshen her character up.[C]
Beverly The Hammer defeated Bambi in 2:47 by submission after blatantly cheating.
Bambi and Beverly The Hammer don't seem to click, and it made for an awkward bout.[E]
Vampira is walking around backstage. Corporal Kelly comes up behind her and douses her in holy water. Vampira shreiks in pain![C-]
Corporal Kelly defeated Vampira in 4:56 when Vampira was trapped in the casket.[C-]
After the match, Corporal Kelly opens the lid of the casket. "My friend," says Kelly, "I hope I can give you the peace in death that I couldn't give you in life."
She then takes a wooden stake and drives it into the casket and, presumably, through Vampira's chest. The lid is closed and the casket rolled away.
Vampira is developing better performance skills.[C-]
Debbie Dancer had an interview hyping her upcoming singles match with Sally the Farmer's Daughter.[D]
Sally the Farmer's Daughter had an interview hyping her upcoming singles match with Debbie Dancer.[C-]
Debbie Dancer defeated Sally the Farmer's Daughter in 3:05 by pinfall after using a foreign object.
Sally the Farmer's Daughter seemed off her game tonight.[D]
Spike appears on-screen, and reveals that it was she who assaulted Little Fiji, she was the mystery attacker all along.[C-]
This show was nothing special.[D]

*

Tuesday, Week 2, May 1983

When a worker is late for this meeting, I usually give them a warning. When it's the owner, what am I supposed to do? As if it wasn't enough that she was setting a bad example, Jackie came in with Maxine in tow. Great. I hoped that this wouldn't lead to a split in the ranks.

"Jackie, since you're here, it would be a good idea if you got a new gimmick. The fans aren't buying you as the boss anymore."

I wasn't going to say it, but they never bought it to start with. She was so obviously a figurehead, I wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't signed my paychecks herself.

"What do I need a gimmick for? I'm Rocky's mom!"

I admitted she had a point. Maybe that would work as a gimmick?

"Okay, Jackie, make sure you mention that more often. Say, once per broadcast?"

She agreed and that problem was solved.

My other problems were just beginning.

But for now, I was reviving the tag team division in a three team fight for the vacant title which I called The Good, the Bad, and the Gorgeous.

Monday, February 06, 2006

G.L.O.W. Diary 17

Friday, Week 4, April 1983

My casting call had been answered in spades. Even a few big names showed up, but when I told them how much I could pay, they promptly left.

I had Penny put the others through try outs and tell me what she thought of their skills.

Vicki Williams - Very pretty and strong in mat skills, average on the mic. She had a wholesome look, a sweet personality, and comic books were popular, so I had her try a superhero act.
Princess Victoria - She wasn't very good at anything except performance, but she was dirt cheap. I had her drop the "Princess" - we already had an Indian - and play the underdog.
Beverly Shade - I really didn't expect to get someone this good so cheap. She was almost a solid replacement for Dee Booher, lacking mostly the size. And only a fifth of the cost!
Tracy Richards - Multi-talented but only average on the mic.
Toni Rose - Another multi-talented worker, I made her a French version of Corporal Kelly, Caporal Carrie. I decided right then to put them in an anti-American tag team.
Madusa Micelli - Needed more work in the ring, but charismatic. I had a hunch that teaming her with Vampira might pay off. I'd have to come up with a storyline for that, though.
Lady Maxine - An entertaining and imposing hard-hitter, she wanted to be a manager instead of a wrestler. This might pose a problem, but she was willing to work the occasional match, so it worked out.
Joyce Grable - Another mat worker and quite entertaining, and she could even train others. I thought she might make a good foil for Vicki Williams, as they had worked as a tag team before.
Desiree Peterson - The third mat worker, she could also train others.

Of course, now I had to make some painful roster cuts. The first to go would have to be Tina, Tara, and Ashley. And, though she was cheap, there was no reason to keep Scarlett. I called them each individually and told them the bad news. To their credit, they were all professional with one exception. Tara made an offer that wouldn't have helped us be taken more seriously.

Saturday, Week 4, April 1983

Some more girls showed up and I had Penny rate them. I hired Misty Blue Simmes on the spot. She was yet another mat worker and trainer. I decided to team her with Desiree, and have them do Americana's bit. Americana herself, well, there wasn't much reason to keep her.

Wendi Richter and I couldn't agree on money.

Sunday, Week 4, April 1983

Wendi and I talked some more, but no luck. I also trimmed the roster further. Although they were cheap, I had to get rid of the girls who were just going to complain about never being used.

Ebony - She accused me of being racist. The thing is, she was just plain awful in the ring and the audience used her interview time to get refreshments.
Olympia - She had a great look and was very strong, but wasn't capable of improving in her weak areas outside the ring.
Amy - She was lousy both in and out of the ring, and wanted too much money as well.
Spanish Red - Although she was fluent in both English and Spanish, the crowd just never appreciated her. In the ring she was almost tolerable, but she wasn't going to improve.

Monday, Week 1, May 1983

Wendi Richter and I finally hammered out a deal. She had charm and mat skills, so it was worth it. And I still managed to get her cheap.

I had to make some last minute booking to fill the gap left by the two tag teams I fired, but I knew just the thing.

*

192 people were in attendance at the Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC.

Vampira defeated Bambi in 2:37 by submission with Vampira's Caress. Bambi could use something to freshen her character up.[D]
Little Fiji is shown backstage, where officials have just found her bloody and unconscious, the apparent victim of a sneak attack. Paramedics appear to stretcher her out.[D]
Sally the Farmer's Daughter comes out to the podium for an interview. She states that she will never give up the trail in chasing down Debbie Dancer.
"I've proven I can beat you, Debbie Dancer. It's just a matter of time before I beat you again. I'll get what's mine, or I'll die trying."[C-]
The announcers put over the fact that we'll be seeing Debbie Dancer take on Sally the Farmer's Daughter.[D]
California Doll defeated Vine in 2:50 by pinfall with a Small Package.[C-]
Corporal Kelly and Caporal Carrie are in the ring, with the American flag. They go to set it on fire as a way to rile her up before their big match, but Mount Fiji comes running down to stop them, and cleans house.[C-]
Mountain Fiji defeated Caporal Carrie in 2:35 when Caporal Carrie was disqualified when Corporal Kelly ran in and attacked Mountain Fiji. Mountain Fiji makes defence number 2 of her G.L.O.W. title.[C-]
The show was a success.[C-]

Tuesday, Week 1, May 1983

Quickly getting to business, I told Bambi she needed a new gimmick, and she said she had just the thing. Sunglasses. I didn't get it at first, but then she wrapped a towel around her waist. Beach babe.
There was talk about the missing people, but when the old girls saw the new ones, they got the idea. We were getting serious.

G.L.O.W. Diary 16

Monday, Week 4, April 1983

We had 210 people at Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC. I think we're getting more popular.

Debbie Dancer appears and says that she accepts the challenge laid down by Sally the Farmer's Daughter, she'll face her in a match.
Don Coss helped Debbie during this segment.[C]
Sally the Farmer's Daughter had an interview hyping her upcoming singles match with Debbie Dancer.[C-]
Debbie Dancer drew with Sally the Farmer's Daughter in 2:50 following a double count out. These girls always look lost in the ring together.[D]
Beastie gives a heartfelt promo in which she sincerely apologizes to the fans.[C]
California Doll defeated Vine in 2:36 by pinfall with a Small Package.[C-]
In the ring, Beastie invites Little Fiji to join her from the back. As Lil Fiji makes her way down the aisle, Beastie repeatedly thanks the crowd for allowing her the opportunity to speak.
When Lil Fiji enters the ring, Beastie goes into a lengthy apology for her recent actions. Beastie sincerly wishes to make it up to not only Lil Fiji, but also the fans.
Lil Fiji slowly takes the microphone and announces that she will have to think about it.[C-]
The Southern Belles defeated The Beverly Hills Girls in 2:31 when Tara defeated Tina Ferrari by pinfall with a handful of tights.[D]
Don Coss addressed the crowd, telling them that Beastie was turning a new leaf.[D]
With our increased popularity, the fans have a higher demand, and we didn't reach it.[C-]

*

Tuesday, Week 4, April 1983

I wasn't really happy about the matches between Debbie and Sally. I used my contacts - who were still speaking to me, thank God - and made some phone calls.

I was beginning to feel limited by the current roster. I'd have to see about finding undiscovered talent soon.

G.L.O.W. Diary 15

Monday, Week 3, April 1983

Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling was held in front of 202 people at the Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC.

Vampira defeated Little Fiji in 3:08 by submission after interference from Beastie.[C-]
Sally the Farmer's Daughter comes to the ring and challenges Debbie Dancer to a match.[D]
Vine defeated California Doll in 2:34 by pinfall with a Vineyard. Vine and Doll are both improving in Technical skills.[C-]
The match is over, and Vine is celebrating. California Doll walks over and offers her hand as a sign of respect, and the two competitors shake hands.[C-]
The Beverly Hills Girls defeated The Southern Belles in 2:58 when Ashley Cartier defeated Scarlett by pinfall with a Drop Kick.[C-]
A successful show.[C-]

*

Tuesday, Week 3, April 1983

The next show was easy to book as it was just continuing storylines. I told Vampira we didn't have enough time for her, but she didn't mind as she'd been getting steady work for two months.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

G.L.O.W. Diary 14

Thursday, Week 1, April 1983

Beastie wanted a raise. She was expensive enough already, but I had no choice.

Monday, Week 2, April 1983

We had 218 people in attendance at Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC.

Vampira defeated Sally the Farmer's Daughter in 3:21 by submission with a Vampira's Caress.[D]
Amidst a chaotic in-ring scene, Debbie Dancer and Sally the Farmer's Daughter finally come face to face on opposite sides of the ring. They both pause, psyche themselves up, and charge. The ring gets flooded by numerous other wrestlers, and the two are pulled away before they can make contact by Mountain Fiji, Little Fiji, California Doll, Beastie, Spike and Corporal Kelly.[E]
The Fijis cut a promo hyping themselves. Penny Banner helped Fiji during this segment.[C]
Beastie comes out and delivers a seething promo directed at the Fijis. After rehashing recent events between them, Beastie promises the world that she will get revenge against them.[C-]
The Fijis defeated Corporal Kelly and Spike in 7:57 when Mountain Fiji defeated Corporal Kelly by pinfall with a Powerslam. The Fijis win the G.L.O.W. Tag Team titles.
All the girls were tired by the end, especially Spike.[C-]
Having just picked up the victory, the Fijis go out into the crowd to celebrate with their people.[C-]
The show was okay.[D]

*

Tuesday, Week 2, April 1983

It was brought up at the meeting that things were getting rough backstage. But there was nothing I could do - it was just too costly to have 4 guys making $1600 each per show. And it was too late now anyway.

I wanted to continue the heat between Doll and Vine, so I put them in a "best of seven" series of matches. Not very creative, but it was too soon to change Vine's gimmick again.

The two remaining tag teams - Tina and Ashley, and Scarlett and Tara - asked if I was going to have them battling for the tag belts soon. I told them that wasn't possible at the time, but I'd have something for them to be involved in starting next week.

G.L.O.W. Diary 13

Wednesday, Week 4, March 1983

Debbie called me to say her contract was ending, so I made her an offer to stay. She said she'd think about it.

Saturday, Week 4, March 1983

I had good news and bad news. First, Jackie called to say that the PPV talks fell through. I was off the hook.

The bad news was that Debbie wanted a raise. I admitted that she was an asset to the company, but I'd have to think it over.

Sunday, Week 4, March 1983

I decided that Debbie was worth another $25 after all. At least I got her for another 9 months at that price.

Monday, Week 1, April 1983

While setting up at the new venue, I ran into Beastie.

"You don't have to be here, you're not booked."

"I wanted to talk to you about my contract."

I was stuck. Not only was she talented, but I had her in a story with Emily. Then it hit me.

"So that's why you proposed that storyline."

"I had to do something. I know money's tight, but maybe you'd have more left over if it wasn't for all those guys backstage. They get paid every show and I'm sure they make more than any of us."

I had thought they got paid monthly. Great. The backstage would be havoc. I had to think this through.

"I'll get back to you in a few days. I have a show to run right now."

"Okay, Joel. Call me."

*

We had a pitiful 193 people for the show.

Vampira defeated Spike in 2:49 by submission with Vampira's Caress.
Spike could use something to freshen her character up. Vampira and Spike have great chemistry, and it showed in their performances.[C-]
California Doll has had enough. she challenges California Vine to a match. If Doll wins, Vine has to stop imitating Doll.
California Vine is developing better performance skills.[C+]
California Doll defeated California Vine in 2:44 by pinfall with a Small Package.[C-]
California Vine throws her California Doll memorabilia in the trash. She is done being Doll's biggest fan.[C]
The argument between Debbie Dancer and Sally the Farmer's Daughter descends into a wild and rather silly slap fight between the two. A flustered Don Coss eventually gets between the two wildly swinging combatants and breaks the tiff up.
Debbie and Sally are both developing better performance skills.[C-]
Mountain Fiji comes out to the podium and makes mention of how glad she is that her good friend Little Fiji is on the outside looking in; always watching her back.
"With friends like Little Fiji," Fiji whoops to the world, "Nothing can stand in my way."[C-]
Mountain Fiji defeated Corporal Kelly in 2:58 by pinfall with a Powerslam. Mountain Fiji makes defence number 1 of her G.L.O.W. title.[C-]
The show was a success.[C-]

*

Tuesday, Week 1, April 1983

The girls gave Matilda a warm goodbye, then I got down to business.

"I have to make some drastic cost saving changes. We can no longer afford backstage workers. As much help as you've all been, we are losing money hand over fist. I'm sorry."

"Dude, you're firing us?"

"No... not firing, per se... Look at it like... like we're too big, and we need to get down to a more managable size."

"Downsizng?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. Downsizing."

Yes, Monty had coined the term downsizing 10 years before it was being used in big corporations. But I digress.

"Does this mean the girls will get more work?" asked Kitty.

"Yes, it does."

"And what about me? I heard the May big show was cancelled."

That's what I had forgotten! She was well liked so I'd have to make a concilliation.

"I can get you on one show a month, starting next month."

"Okay, Joel."

I finished booking the match for next week and ended the meeting. I had to come up with a new storyline now.

G.L.O.W. Diary 12

Monday, Week 4, March 1983

At the last minute, Matilda reminded me of her contract stipulation that gave her a title match. Grudgingly, I put her and Emily in the pre-show. If nothing else, it would get the crowd on their feet.

We had 383 people in attendance at the Mayan Theater.

Pre-Show
Mountain Fiji defeated Matilda the Hun in 3:13 by pinfall with a Splash. Mountain Fiji retains the G.L.O.W. title.[C-]
Vampira defeated Scarlett in 2:46 by submission with a Vampira's Caress.
Scarlett is improving in Rumble skills.[D]
Corporal Kelly defeated Bambi in 2:50 by pinfall while using the ropes for leverage.[D]
Jackie Stallone welcomes Sally the Farmer's Daughter to the announcer table, where Sally will be a special guest announcer for the next match.
Sally the Farmer's Daughter is developing better performance skills.[C]
Debbie Dancer defeated Ebony in 2:35 by pinfall when Don Coss interfered.
Debbie was off her game and the girls looked lost.[E]
Debbie Dancer and Don Coss celebrate their accomplishment in the ring.[C-]
After the match, Jackie Stallone and Sally the Farmer's Daughter begin their post match discussion. Out of nowhere, Sally the Farmer's Daughter begins insulting the work of Debbie Dancer - calling her an insult to professional wrestlers everywhere.
Sally the Farmer's Daughter is developing better performance skills.[C-]
Jackie Stallone calls out Mountain Fiji for an interview. In it, the two discuss recent events, which leads to Fiji cracking a joke at the expense of Beastie. The two share a laugh amongst themselves.[C]
Debbie's match really hurt the show.[D]

*

Tuesday, Week 4, March 1983

Jackie wanted to talk to me before the meeting.

"The Mayan Theater is too expensive, Joel. We don't even fill half of it and it costs us $1000 each week. We need to cut spending."

"Okay, fine. There's only one place suitable for us then - the Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC."

"Also, don't forget our hour long shows starting in May."

Crud. She just told me to cut costs, then told me I'd have to use twice as many people. Maybe there was a way out.

"Jackie, we don't have a PPV carrier anymore. I'm not sure it will be affordable to have a large event without it."

"You're right. I'll see what I can do about that."

There was something else nagging me, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

G.L.O.W. Diary 11

Monday, Week 3, March 1983

I was very pleased with the attendance at the Mayan Theater - 475
asses in seats.

California Vine gives a promo as if she were California Doll.
California Vine is developing better performance skills.[C+]
Beastie defeated California Doll in 3:20 by DQ when California Vine
attacked Beastie.
California Doll and Beastie don't seem to click, and it made for an
awkward bout.[C-]
Penny Banner challenges Tammy Jones to a Cage Match against her
client, Mountain Fiji.[C-]
Mountain Fiji defeated Tammy Jones in 4:58 by pinfall with a Splash.[C-]
Don Coss tells the crowd that Jackie has an important announcement...
"That's right, Coss", Jackie Stallone addresses with pride, "I am
proud to announce that we have a new Champion: Mountain Fiji. Fiji
overcame the impossible by winning that title, and we would like to
congratulate her accomplishment."[C-]
The show was another success.[C-]

*

Tuesday, Week 3, March 1983

I started the meeting without Kelly. I was annoyed and would have to fine her like I promised, but I wasn't going to keep the others waiting.

Palestina's absence left a whole in the roster and I had to reorganize. I was about to end the meeting when Beastie spoke up.

"Hey, aren't you missing a storyline?"

Indeed I had. With Tammy leaving, there was nothing written for Emily. I had forgotten all about that. Beastie had something prepared and it included some others as well, so I approved. It would be expensive, but sounded like it would pay off in the end.

Finally, Kelly strolled in at the end of the meeting and I took her aside.

"Ah, Kelly, I have good news and bad news."

"I'm getting fined, ain't I."

"Yep. The good news is that I'm booking you in the next show."

"With Attache - er, I mean, Vampira?"

"No, I'm saving that for later."

"She's going on a winning streak?"

"Yes, and you're ending it."

"Oh, cool!"

"Instead, it will be you and Bambi."

"Okay then. See you Monday."

I called Bambi later and told her the show had been changed to include her.

"Thanks! I didn't want to say anything, but I was starting to get annoyed."

G.L.O.W. Diary 10

Monday, Week 2, March 1983

Before the show, I introduced the girls to Don Coss, our new announcer/heel manager. He was a really nice guy and I thought we'd get along fine. As for McLane, I had security tell him that if he wanted to get in, he'd have to buy a ticket. I heard him shouting outside that he still owned almost half the company before he gave up and left.

We had only 383 people at the Mayan Theater. I wondered if McLane hadn't sabotaged the advertising.

Pre-show
Jackie Stallone is at the podium and makes the announcement that Don Coss will be serving as a new announcer for the promotion. At that, a beaming Coss comes out and thanks Jackie for the introduction.[C-]
Main show
Vampira defeated Little Feather in 2:55 by submission with a Vampira's Caress.
Don lifted the match with his announcing. Much better than McLane and far cheaper, not to mention he's not a pain in the ass. Vampira is improving in Performance skills.[D]
Debbie Dancer comes out to the podium for an interview. She offers a bit of warning to Sally the Farmer's Daughter.
"If you ever butt into my affairs again, bitch, I'll make sure to slap the taste right out of your stinking mouth! This is your last warning, Sally the Farmer's Daughter - stop messing with my business, or you'll pay the price."[D]
Don Coss and Jackie Stallone welcome Sally the Farmer's Daughter to the announcer table, where Sally will be a special guest announcer for the next match. Sally the Farmer's Daughter is developing better performance skills.[C-]
Debbie Dancer defeated Scarlett in 2:45 by pinfall after using a foreign object.[D]
After the match, the cameras take us back to the ringside announcers desk. There, Jackie Stallone and Sally the Farmer's Daughter begin their post match discussion. Out of nowhere, Sally the Farmer's Daughter begins insulting the work of Debbie Dancer - calling her an insult to professional wrestlers everywhere.
Sally the Farmer's Daughter is developing better performance skills.[C]
California Doll is signing autographs backstage. She becomes upset when she sees California Vine doing the same thing and the fans can't tell them apart.
California Vine is developing better performance skills.[C+]
Mountain Fiji defeated Tammy Jones in 2:34 by disqualification.
Penny is a good manager for Fiji.[C-]
The show was a success.[C-]

*

Tuesday, Week 2, March 1983

The meeting the next morning was a mixed bag. Ashley, Tina, and Beastie all wanted to be in next week's show, but I could only get one of them in. And that was going to be the one with ring skills.

"There just isn't enough money."

"But didn't you save money by getting rid of McLane?" asked Ashley.

"Yes, but not much, and next week I have to pay to have a steel cage built."

"Steel cage?" asked Dee.

"For Tammy and Emily's match. I want Tammy to go out on a high note, I'd like to have her back some day."

Dee shook her head. "You can't put these girls in a steel cage. They could get hurt."

The steel cages that were used around that time were constructed of tubular steel bars that had no give. She was right.

"I have an idea." said Don. "We can build the cage so it has more give. It won't look as good, but it's safer. Probably will be cheaper too."

As the meeting ended, I told Palestina that she would be missed. I asked her if she'd consider returning once we were better off financially.

"In this business, you never say never."

Saturday, February 04, 2006

G.L.O.W. Diary 9

Monday, Week 1, March 1983

There were 446 people in attendance at the Mayan Theater.

While Vampira's opponent waits in the ring, a coffin is rolled up to it. The lid opens and Vampira sits up. She climbs into the ring and the lights dim, with a single spotlight focusing on her face as she flashes her fangs.[D]

Vampira defeated Americana in 3:06 by submission with a Vampira's Caress.
Jackie Stallone did some good work at ringside.[D]
Tina Ferrari is walking backstage, turns a corner, and bumps into Matilda the Hun. Matilda says something that Tina Ferrari doesn't like, and they start arguing. After some heated words, Matilda challenges Tina Ferrari to meet her in the ring for a match.
Tina Ferrari is developing better performance skills.[C]
Mountain Fiji defeated David McLane in 0:50 by pinfall with a Splash.
The fans came to see female competitors, and so were not happy to see David McLane. Jackie Stallone did some good work at ringside. Mountain Fiji and Jackie Stallone are an awkward pairing, they just have no chemistry whatsoever.[D]
Before the match starts, Matilda the Hun grabs the house microphone and demands of the referee to make a five count on Matilda's pinfall attempt.
"Five... not three. You got me, Ref? Five!"[B+]
Matilda the Hun defeated Tina Ferrari in 5:27 by pinfall with a Big Belly Bop.[C-]
The bell rings, yet Matilda the Hun continues to lay across her trounced victim. Matilda insists that the referee counts to five, after the pinfall, and refuses to get up until her demand is met.
The helpless referee obliges.[B+]
I wasn't happy with the show. I swore to never again give in to demands if they hurt the show. A lesson learned.[D]

*

Tuesday, Week 1, March 1983

At the meeting, Matlida announced that her contract was ending. I wished her the best of luck and regretted I wouldn't be able to pay her what she was worth.

I told Jackie that she wasn't the best manager for either Ebony or Emily. I'd just have to keep them from talking. With Ebony, that was no problem - she was just what the others called a jobber. But Emily was going to be the next champion.

Penny must have heard me thinking out loud, a habit I have when I'm stuck on a problem.

"I could manage Mountain Fiji, Joel. You're already paying me anyway. I can do both."

"Great! That solves that problem."

Vampira asked if she could just skip her entrance, since the crowd seemed to be getting tired of it. I said okay.

After announcing who would be booked for the next show, I ended the meeting. McLane, however, stuck around. What the Hell did he want?

"Is the wrestling business as easy as you thought it would be, Mr. Wideman?"

"Actually, it is, when I don't have some jackoff sabotaging my shows."

"Nobody has to sabotage your shows, Mr. Wideman. You have no idea what you're doing and that is proving to be enough."

With that, he left. He could say what he wanted, I wasn't hired because of my familiarity with wrestling. And my storylines were better than the exploitation he had planned.

G.L.O.W. Diary 8

Monday, Week 4, February 1983

We had 424 people in the seats of the Mayan Theater.

While Vampira's opponent waits in the ring, a coffin is rolled up to it. The lid opens and Vampira sits up. She climbs into the ring and the lights dim, with a single spotlight focusing on her face as she flashes her fangs.[C-]
Vampira defeated Ebony in 2:54 by submission with Vampira's Caress.
Ebony was really off her game tonight. Jackie Stallone did some good work at ringside, but her and Ebony are an awkward pairing, they just have no chemistry whatsoever.[E]
David McLane helped Debbie during this segment. Debbie Dancer cuts a promo hyping up her upcoming match with Scarlett.[C]
David McLane and Jackie Stallone welcome Sally the Farmer's Daughter to the announcer table, where Sally will be a special guest announcer for the next match. Sally the Farmer's Daughter is developing better performance skills.[C-]
Debbie Dancer defeated Scarlett in 2:32 by submission after blatantly cheating. The girls looked lost in the ring, but at least Scarlett is improving in Performance skills.[D]
Having picked up the victory, Debbie Dancer celebrates in the ring.[C-}
After the match David McLane and Sally the Farmer's Daughter begin their post match discussion. Out of nowhere, Sally the Farmer's Daughter begins insulting the work of Debbie Dancer - calling her an insult to professional wrestlers everywhere. Sally the Farmer's Daughter is developing better performance skills.[C-]
As California Doll makes her way to the ring, California Vine comes out of the crowd and follows behind, copying Doll's every move. California Vine is developing better performance skills.[C+]
California Doll defeated Corporal Kelly in 3:24 by pinfall with a Small Package. During the match we also had California Vine run in and attack Kelly.[C-]
After the match, California Doll tells California Vine that she doesn't need or want her help. Vine looks hurt. California Vine is developing better performance skills.{C+]
David McLane and Jackie Stallone are in her's office. Jackie is yelling at him.
"You nearly ruined our company's reputation!"
"I have a problem! I need help!" He gets on his knees and begs.
"And you'll get it. But first we are going to settle this like we do everything else."
McLane looks worried. "You mean?"
"Yes, you're going to have a match with--"
McLane cringes.
"Fiji!"
McLane relaxes. "Oh. Little Fiji. I was worried for a second there." He exits the office, leaving Jackie shaking her head.
"Mountain Fiji, you twit."[C]
The show was a success.[C-]

*

Tuesday, Week 4, February 1983

Tina and Matilda approached me together before the meeting. What could this mean?

"You need to show us we're not being ignored, Joel." said Tina.

"Alright, I'll give you the main event next week."

"Not enough." said Matilda. "We want more segments."

I nodded. "I'll do what I can."

At the meeting, Tammy told me that her contract was ending. I asked her if she wanted to extend it, and she said she'd think about it. I'd be sorry to see her go, but there was little I could do to keep her around. Even if she stayed, she wouldn't be real happy.

I made a decision I hoped I wouldn't regret. I'd have to take the belt off Tammy before she left. It seemed like a good idea to give it to someone I could afford to book. And there was only one logical choice - Mountain Fiji. But it would have to wait until the last week of Tammy's contract.

G.L.O.W. Diary 7

Palestina's contract was ending, and despite my efforts, I couldn't get her to stay. She would be missed, as only her high pay demands kept me from using her.

On the third Monday of February, our show was held in front of 420 people at the Mayan Theater.

Sally the Farmer's Daughter is reading letters for her "Ask Sally" show.
"My stalker... Listen, California Doll, maybe if you ignore them they'll go away."[C-]
While Vampira's opponent waits in the ring, a coffin is rolled up to it. The lid opens and Vampira sits up. She climbs into the ring and the lights dim, with a single spotlight focusing on her face as she flashes her fangs.[D]
Vampira defeated Olympia in 3:08 by submission with a Vampira's Caress.[E]
David McLane and Matilda the Hun are in the locker room, discussing the match coming up. McLane wants her to take a dive! Jackie Stallone walks in just in time to see money changing hands, and suspends Matilda on the spot.[C]
Little Fiji defeated Beastie in 2:43 by pinfall with a Flying Cross Body.
Beastie and Little Fiji just don't click at all, and it showed in their performances.[D]
David McLane: Whew! I was worried about that match.
Jackie Stallone: You didn't think Little Fiji was going to win?
David McLane: Not in a million years. I thought I was going to lose my house.[C]
Ashley Cartier is walking backstage, turns a corner, and bumps into Spike. Spike says something that Cartier doesn't like, and they start arguing. After some heated words, Spike challenges Cartier to meet her in the ring for a match.
Spike is developing better performance skills.[C-]
Ashley Cartier defeated Spike in 3:13 by pinfall with a Drop Kick.
Ashley Cartier is improving in Flying skills. Ashley Cartier is improving in Performance skills.[D]
It was a good show, though not as good as some.[D]

*

The next morning, Tammy showed up early. That wasn't a good sign.

"Joel, some of the girls are getting on my nerves."

"I don't understand. Don't you have a lot of friends here?"

"It's not that. I'm not getting booked but a bunch of less talented and less popular girls are!"

"That's because you cost 8 times as much they do. I can't center the whole show around one person!"

"Why not?"

Oh great. Things were going downhill. But the others started showing up and I was able to change the subject.

"Okay, who wants a haircut?"

That seemed to confuse them.

"Oh, come on, nobody wants to try short hair?"

Sally raised her hand.

"You want a new look, Sally?"

"Depends on how short it is." she said, drawing a few laughs.

"I was thinking bald, actually."

"I'll do it."

Everyone gasped.

"Nobody takes me seriously because of my looks. They say 'Oh, she's so beautiful and charming, that's why she gets booked.'"

As a matter of fact, that was why she got booked. But maybe she'd surprise us all and be a breakout talent. I wanted to match her up against someone that had some skills to give her a fighting chance.

"Okay, you and Debbie get the Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow storyline."

That got a few chuckles. I booked the next show and concluded the meeting. I had a story to write.