Wednesday, February 01, 2006

G.L.O.W. Diary 0

I admit it - I am a fan of professional wrestling. Or, as the guy at the top of the business calls it, "Professional Sports Entertainment". I agree with Vince McMahon on this point - it's entertainment. It's about suspending your disbelief long enough to watch two people do stuff to each other in a ring that should result (and sometimes does) in serious injury. It's a battle of Good vs Evil, only the sides these days are chosen more by the fans than by morals.
Anyway, to stay on topic, Andrea bought me this - TEW 2005. It is a game which simulates the backstage world of professional wrestling. The game comes with a set of make believe wrestlers (yeah, I know, redundant) but you can also make your own sets, which several people have. There are sets - called either mods or scenarios - that feature today's current rosters, rosters based on cartoon characters, and so on. One of the most popular is a scenario set in the real world era of the early 80s, before Vince McMahon, jr. waged war on the rest of the industry. It is called Death of the Territories. It was this mod that made me want to buy this game. Why? It includes Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (G.L.O.W.) This was a very campy wrestling promotion with a TV show that for a time was kicking the WWF's ass (which probably explains the SlutDiva Search contests). Despite a roster picked from strip clubs and mud wrestling joints, it wasn't strictly speaking a T&A show. It features two women who, while attractive in their own ways, were not what most people associate with T&A. I'm not a fan of big women (although I did marry one, but that's love, baby) but I was a fan of Mountain Fiji (Emily Dole). The Samoan giantess was the only credible threat to the genetically gifted monster, Matilda the Hun (Dee Booher). Finding out that their bouts were as real as they looked and they were good friends who loved to beat on each other really blew my mind.
It was fun and it was camp, except when girls were getting legitely injured due to a lack of training. The non-wrestling segments were often hilarious. What the girls lacked in "ring psychology", they made up for in character. And when all else failed, they were gorgeous. And they didn't need to dance around in their underwear to show it. It was good mindless entertainment. It was at least as good as what the WWF was putting on. Okay, I'll be honest - it was hot chicks in lycra rolling around on top of each other. BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?!? It sure beat the Hell out of watching two dudes doing the same thing.
To assuage my craving for nostalgia, I'm playing the game as head booker for G.L.O.W. and keeping a diary that includes as much fiction as the show itself.
For those still interested, some notes:
Although I use my real name, none of this should be construed as an accurate portrayal of myself, nor is it a "Gary Sue". It ain't me, it's an alternate universe me. A me that was born 10 years earlier (I was a teenager during the 80s, ya know) and had published a few novels. The real me has yet to finish one - it's been short stories and the like so far.
I treat certain elements of kayfabe as real. Those who do the research will know which ones. Those who don't will have only themselves to blame. Again, this is an alternate universe. If in doubt, remember that it is fiction.
G.L.O.W. didn't get started until 86. Rather than change the mod, I started in 83. I can do that. Again, see fiction.
All posts labeled as G.L.O.W. Diary, after this, will be just that. I'm not going to break the fourth wall.
Finally: Enjoy!
EDIT: Oh, I forgot. TEW diaries usually include the segment rating that the game provides.
They are letter grades, like in school. I include this information in brackets.


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