Thursday, February 02, 2006

G.L.O.W. Diary 3

As if things weren't bad enough, we still needed another locker room leader. Fortunately, I now knew some people who knew some people. At Yoshihiro's suggestion, I sent a letter to Japan.

The consequence of not having enough locker room leaders was already apparent. I had to make some phone calls and be a bastard.

"Hello, Kelly."

"Joel? This is about yesterday, isn't it."

"That's right. You know, I like having everyone at the pre-show meeting. Especially when I want to book them. I almost had to give your spot away."

"Yeah... it's just... the meeting's a drag, you know?"

"I wish it could be more fun for you, really I do, but the next time you don't show up, you'll be paying me for my time."

That got her attention. "It won't happen again, Joel."

"Good. Next week we'll be at the Mayan Theater."

I hung up and called my other problem child.

"Yo, Joel."

"Hello, Monty... Hey, how did you know it was me?"

"Nobody ever calls me on the phone but The Man, and you're The Man, aren't you?"

"So you know why I'm calling, right?"

"Yeah, but it's no big deal, okay? I mean, you don't even have me booked until next week."

"I don't have you booked next week."

He was quick, I'll give him that.

"Man, that's harsh!"

"You know what's harsh, Monty? Did you see my main event?"

"Yeah, it sucked! I mean, the Doll is alright, but 'mericana ain't in her league, you know?"

"I know it sucked. I didn't book it."

"Yeah? Who did?"

"Well, in a roundabout way, McClane did."


"He sabotaged my main event."

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah, and do you think he'd have been able to do that with you around?"

"Ah, I'm sorry about that. Damn! What can I do?"

"You can show up on time. That includes the pre-show meeting."

"You got it! From now on, I'll be on time."

"Good. Next week, we'll be at the Mayan Theater. Don't be late, because you're booked."


"Next time it's for real, Monty."

Right after I hung up, the phone rang. It was the network. Ratings had fallen, and they weren't happy about it.


On Friday I got a reply from Japan. "No."

I sent off one more letter, and kept my fingers crossed all weekend.


Monday morning Scrappy McGowen showed up. He was also refereeing for GCW, but said he'd lend a hand when he wasn't busy. This was excellent news! I told him that he didn't have to really do anything but hangout backstage. He said that sounded like fun.

The set mockup was easy to take apart, relocate, and put back together, so I had no trouble getting it over to the Mayan Theater myself. A rented pickup, and the world was your oyster.

Monty showed up early. He helped me go over the roster and shuffle a few people around to accomodate the girls who left. I was just making the changes on the board when the others arrived. I waited until they were settled in.

"If you look at the board, you'll see some changes have been made. Please check it over and make sure you're happy with it."

"Can I get a new gimmick?"

That was Vine. Formerly the highflying half of Hollywood and Vine.

"Got anything in mind?"

"A fan who is obsessed with a wrestler, to the point of imitating her, dressing like her, getting involved in her matches, etc."

"Creepy. I like it! Who would be the wrestler?"

"How about me?"

That was California Doll.

"I don't suppose the two of you came up with a plot, as well, did you?"


"Okay, I have an idea of how this could get started. We have to keep you off the air for a few shows, Vine. Or should I say, California Vine."

I whipped out my notepad and jotted some notes down. It wasn't long before I was drawn back to reality by the chatter.

"I'm sorry, ladies, that's all I can handle for now. Tina, you're up first. Get your housewives together and come up with 15 minutes of material."

I looked over the board. There had been something nagging me and now I saw it.

"Make that 10 minutes. I'm splitting up a tag team."


We filled 434 seats that night.

Tina's segment did it's usual thing.[C]

I had to split up Attache and Corporal Kelly. I thought Attache had a lot of potential and being under Kelly's shadow was going to hold her down. Plus that stupid gimmick.

Here's their segment:

Attache and Corporal Kelly are out on patrol at night. A bat swoops down, bites Attache on the neck, and flies away. Kelly runs to her fallen comrade's side, only to be attacked by Attache, who is now a vampire.

Okay, it wasn't up to my usual standards, but the crowd thought it was okay. Attache - I mean Vampira - seemed to be putting on a better performance than usual.[C-]

I'm not sure what went wrong here. I'd hate to blame Ebony. She worked her heart out, but the audience just didn't care for the match. I'll have to talk to Penny about it.[F]

The Corruption Scandal continues:

Montgomery Van and David McLane are having a conversation backstage. Mont Van says that he knows a way that McLane can repay what he owes. McLane notices they are being watched and angrily slams the door.

Monty did a great job there.[C-]

After two and a half minutes of straight wrestling, Spanish Red slammed Mountain Fiji's head into the exposed turnbuckle. I was impressed with Emily - she sold it like death. This is the match that last week's crowd should have gotten.[C-]

Sally perked up the crowd at the end with her T-Shirt cannon.[A]

That dud match killed our ratings.[D]

Penny just shrugged when I asked her about that match. "It just happens sometimes. That's life, Joel."

The one good note I had to end the night with was McLane - he didn't even try anything.


Our TV ratings had dropped to 467 and the network was breathing down our necks.

But I couldn't worry about that - I had another story to write.